Back On;;; && with a New Attitude…

It's been a while since I've decided to write. Actually been a while since I've decided to write anything. Haven't worked on my novel, haven't written any poetry. NOTHING. I know that's bad. I've had no inspiration and that saddens me.

    Well I'm 18 now :) still a super big kid at heart though. I guess I've realized all my life I've been sheltered in a way by my family and now that I'm 18 and everything seems to fall apart slowly. Yes my Grandma is still sick and for the people who really know me and read this, she's doing much, much better. She's finally Walking;; I thank everyone for all their prayers, I've changed my email so if I don't check your reply's so quickly I am so sorry.

 

I'm home sick since Monday and I have to admit I miss school, but only for my friends. I'm ready for school to be over and to begin my life. Now that sounds scary in my head and aloud. Even more freighting that I've put it in writing, you all know me it means nothing unless I've written it down for the world to see.

 

Don't get me started on boys, just don't. Maybe the next time I write I'll have something to say J

 

I'm dying over here coughing and wishing I was better;;; Going to lay down.. Imma try my hardest to come back on and write some stuff for you guys.

&& If you're wondering why this blog and not the other one… it was deleted L yes I said I was gonna do it and I did it.. So yeah send this one to all your friends I gotta get my following back <3 love you all

 

Love ***Tee Mariiee**

Michael Vick… back again…

Okay seriously… my title says enough… the man may be a good player but he's a disgrace…

Any person who could be in charge of bankrolling a dog fighting operation needs to be banned from any type of job where people can idolize him…He doesn't deserve the fame or fortune… None of it!

 

Many people say his sentence was too harsh but seriously what did he expect… A slap on the hand and then they'll send him on his merry way… He deserved to be in jail… it's inhumane to treat animals like that…

Absolutely sick… && the fact that he enjoyed it bcuz no one does that for the hell of it…

 

So now he has a 2 year contract with Philadelphia Eagles… Good for him, really how he can just spring right back… but other members on the team are worried that one member could taint the teams image… (can you tell who…?)

 

I don't blame him, he lost a lot of support when he admitted to the dog fighting… && I don't blame his fans for leaving. But now he's back and he's going to regain a new status and a "NEW IMAGE" w.e that means…

 

So he's back…

    I think it's a disgrace and he should be banned… No little kid should look up to him and believe me kids are very impressionable…

 

We'll see how this plays out…

&& it was like BAM!

How do I explain this? It's unbelievable how things all happen at once whether it's good or bad, it just seems to happen all at once. There are 2 major things that may just make my head explode….

1. My Titi (Grandma) got admitted into the hospital
   
2. I love my Leah
   

Today at around 4 o clock my Titi was admitted into the hospital. Simply because she refused to let anyone help her, and was threatening. I mean sure I know it comes along with the brain tumor but still it was insane. At this point I can't tell what's what. If it's the tumor or really her, it just makes me feel sad inside knowing that I can't help her. So I began to write this at the hospital but it became to crazy. So quick update… they found another tumor in her lung and now they say most likely that the tumors are cancerous but we won't know for sure until they take biopsy. So time once again has left me waiting…

 

Oh mee God Leah if you could read you'd understand, but you're a child and you don't understand why daddy is acting weird but when I look at you and say everything's going to be alright it's going to be all right. Johnny.. frankly idk what you want me to do… Damn… I'd do anything for her.. && now you put me in some stupid as position like this. Either the both of you or nothing… don't be greedy… because you know I love her more than any other person in this universe maybe even more than you do…

 

Ugghs soo fuckin pissed can't even write this stupid thing ne more… OUT!!! for a walk…

 

 

 

I’m Anxious and have Butterflies…

You know when you like someone… && every time you see them or think about them you get that little weird feeling in your stomach…

WELL GUESS WHAT???

I got that feeling...

Every time I see him I get Butterflies in my stomach and that anxious feeling in my chest. I can't help it but it just seems to happen. Believe me when I say in the end I'll regret feeling like this, but for the moment I don't mind… && at this point you're wondering what he's like… Well he's cute, funny, really cute, and nice, yeah I already he's cute, right??? I guess that proves to you I don't know that much about him, but can you blame me I just met the kid…

Anyway back to my title…

Almost all girls should know what I was describing. You know were your chest feels like it's going to explode and your stomach is all fluttery. It's like we lose ourselves in that exact moment. I think all teenage girls have felt this way, at least I hope (I more like pray that it's not only me). It's just one of the many things we go through in our daily lives.

Idk I guess this is a short post, I just really had to get that off my mind…=]

It's these damn boys that got us all wound up… but hey like so many say you can't live with em, can't live without em….

 

Yours Truly

Tasia Mariie…

A Brain tumor....

Ehh I guess I could say life could be better but here’s an update…

Last week I found out my grandma has a brain tumor. I began to cry as soon as my mom told me. You see my grandmother is like my second mother, since I do not have a father. She’s always been there for me no matter that. I love her and I know that I need her as a part of my life.

Unfortunately ever since we found out about the tumor she has been very harsh to the family. Her name calling and constant refusal has been the hardest thing to get around. She refuses to let us help her, and believe me that’s all we want to do is help but she just won’t let us. She gave me a nickname I really don’t like “Nurse Ratchet” because I’m constantly “Bossing” her around. Well I have to be sure she takes her medicine and if we have a doctor appointment then she needs to listen so she could get dressed. She says things to me that I don’t like but I know deep down inside that it’s the tumor talking and not her. But for right now I can’t help but to feel that it is her really talking. I try real hard it’s just getting harder and harder.

At this point I’m letting myself scream, cry and bleed on the inside but on the outside I remain calm and cool. Like nothing wrong && everything’s going to be okay.

But today I found out things might not be okay. Things are gonna start moving quickly. We need to get things moving, we have 4 days until she should be having surgery but god only knows if we’ll get things done that fast.

Now we must rush but at the same time we must wait. Yet time is of the essences….

Blah

So i woke up this morning n was like wow its the 4th of July...
HAPPY BIRTHDAY ASHLEY..... =]
So its summer and expected i have summer school nothing to be so happy about but anyways been bored...
not busy but bored...
Lifes become one big blur i do the same thing everyday
Wake up
Work on my Novel
Eat something
Work on my novel somemore
Then Sleep

Like wtf has happened to the excitment of things....

Really !!!!
idk i wanna strt a video blog of just about life...
well see what happenes...
Gotta get ready cuz im going outs.... FINALLY
<3

To Be Honest...

To be honest 

i don't really think i know anymore... 

Yeah i know i haven't been around for a while but honestly 

i really haven't even been in my own head...

Like i've been absent in my mind...

I close my eyes and i see black, nothing... 

At night i use to dream and now... i cant even sleep...

Memories of the past never can be erased can they...

No matter how much you may want to forget the people you loved you know you cant...

&& NOOOOOO i aint talking about no guy I'm talking about people who just come and go in your life...

How they're there one moment and then you turn around and they're gone...

I Miss you people...

I Miss the people i use to call my best friends... 

Yuh know the people who were ALWAYS there for me...

Well as many say 

Time Changes Many Things...

To Be Honest...

I Hate Time but most importantly I HATE CHANGE>>>>>>